The Case For And Against Circumcision - the Onion

http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-case-for-and-against-circumcision,35844/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default&recirc=music

Every day, new parents across the country are confronted with the question of whether to circumcise their infant sons. Here are the strongest arguments for and against circumcision:

FOR

• Penis tans more evenly
• Kid already European enough as it is
• Never have to wash genitals
• Lots of really cute cuts available these days
• Frames the balls better
• Baby will probably have some leftover painkillers
• Not our penis we’re talking about here

AGAINST

• Penis loses value once removed from original packaging
• Get to describe baby as “my fully intact son”
• Mohel looks like he’s had about eight cups of coffee
• Probably have to do some paperwork
• Not performing circumcision immediately after birth allows parents to hold it threateningly over son’s head for rest of life
• Traditional family gathering just as enjoyable without foreskin
• Some individuals wary of having someone cut off a piece of their penis with a knife